Post by Donald Finn O'Neill-Kirkland on Jul 14, 2014 20:49:53 GMT -8
The set is quite posh. In the centre of the room, there is a lacquered table and two expensive-looking, comfortable armchairs in a nice shade of lavender. Upon the table lies a tea set, and underneath the table is an expensive-looking Persian rug. Behind the little set up is a fire place. Above the fire place, in fancy letters, you can see the following...
You really have the impression that this is a prestigious show. How the heck did you get on this show anyways?! Because damn does your agent have connections... You're sitting in your chair, all comfortable, in formal clothes, and you're wondering when your host will arrive. And then, you here some music...
The upbeat intro of "Get Lucky" plays as a little lady badassly... waddles in and takes a seat. She is clad in a blazer and a little black pencil skirt, reminding you of a certain chancellor. She doesn't look too old, but she gives you the impression of an old soul. "Welcome to "The Asu Show"! Tune in for your daily dose of typos! Your interview may be a bit butchered, but man it'll be the wurst!" She sits down... and appears a little small for the chair. It looks like her feet don't touch the ground.
"Why hello there, Mister O'Neill-Kirkland. I'd like to welcome you to my show. It's very nice to MEAT you today. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"
Hello! A pleasure to be here, thanks--yes, nice to meet you as well! [Because meat and meet sound exactly alike so he can't tell the difference when it is spoken fff]
Th'names Donald. Donald Finnegan O'Neill Kirkland, born in Dublin a ways 'cross th'pond--is how they call it. I embarrass myself on a daily basis and somehow I make a living out of it, see? Since I'm Irish, I like meat and potatoes. I think that's sums up the entirety of m'life. [chuckles]
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mister O'Neill-Kirkland. I relish the fact that you've mustard the courage to ketchup to us about yourself. You are a fascinating new face. Don't think of it as too direct, but in this business, you'll probably be asked this often enough anyways, especially with how attractive you are. Tell me, darling... are you a duck in bed?"
Ye say what? [He laughs and looks very confused, prompting the audience to laugh. Looking back at the interviewer, he shakes his head, even though he looks amused.] Is this some serta new American buzzword that I'm missing out on? Don't tell me it's on th'same level as 'swag' [he does this hand motion as if he's DJing]. Okay I've got no idea but I'll just say yes for the helluvit.
"Now personally, I can't say I'm the best in bed, but I wish you the best luck there. I'm certain you'll bloom into a beautiful peacock one day! I see you're from Northern Ireland. I can hear it in your marvelous voice. Tell me how you're taking in the lovely Hollywood Hills. Shocking much?"
I've got me stone for luck. And if that luck can get me to a peacock--sure? [He's so confused but he's taking this gracefully at least??] Oh I lived in Belfast for a while, yes. But I've been living in America for much longer, in fact. I've mastered Freedom Lover's accent, but I am loyal te the Queen and her corgis. So when I lived in Belfast for a while and I came back, I was surprised by how much the Californians... erm, evolved. [Looks at the audience suspiciously] Women were becoming orange...? At first I thought it was some carrot-overdose 'cause ye know it can turn yer skin all orangey because of the carotene or some sort. But um. I derno. Orange skin. Only in America, folks.
[Audience laughter]
"Fascinating. How fascinating. Positively shocking, isn't it? Quite different way to look at things, I suppose. You ever go travelling? You ever get homesick? What's one thing you miss from home?"
I travel all around the UK and in other parts of the world, but I always miss the salted air of the harbors in Belfast. I'm always attracted to the coast and I go where th'water is. So yeah, I ought to say that Belfast is the one place I plan on living after I finish my business here in the 'States.
"I see, I see... Well, darling, I did some research on you. I basically stalked your Facebook and phoned the NSA!" You better fear if she really does have NSA connections, goodness."Chef, come in!" A chef comes in with Bailey's Marble Cheesecake... Wow! You haven't seen this in a while, now have you?! "Why don't you have some sweetness?" The chef puts down the two plates upon the table. You go and take your dessert, and your host does the same. Using a tiny, silver fork, your host takes a bite out of the heavenly ambrosia. "Mmm mmm... MMM. You have good taste! Did your grandma ever make something like this? This is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Say, do you have any siblings or cousins in Hollywood that we should be aware of? Perhaps if you aren't available, our viewers would still like a piece, hmmm?"
Oh mercy, it's carrot cake. Thank ye. [Takes a forkful] My grandma actually taught my mum on making this cake. Good times. The best moments were with this cake, 'specially that time it was flung at me face--yes, well ye might be aware of my twin. She happens to look exactly like me. Isn't that frightening?
"Well won't we be quite interested! What're their numbers?"
Sorry but she's outta commission. [laughs weakly] She must be busy, but it is hard to miss her. Her hair's red, for Christ sake, the most ginger of all gingers here in America.
"Speaking of which, are you taken? I'm sure our audience is very interested! Any special man/lady in your life at the moment?"
Not at the moment---
"You're single and ready to mingle, eh? That's nice to know."
Look at you, earning some giggles from the audience. You charmer.
Ah, I've always been told that I'm too much of a goof to attract a lady. Just my luck, huh?
"But anyways, enough about your life in the bedroom (or lack of it), we're just curious to know... what are your goals here in Hollywood? Any image or angle you going after in terms of roles/in general?"
Hmm see, I used to act quite a lot. Though I've been so busy just saying jib jab on American idol and annoying people at the station that I haven't had the time, see. But most definitely thinking about doing more acting. I was never as into it as my sister, but I'm willing to give it another shot here in the States.
"It's quite obvious that you are a very established actor. In fact, some of our audience remember you from your hit show in Britain, 'Lucky You'. I even know some friends who were obsessed with 'Donald Finn and Aoife'. It seems that you aren't really working with your sister nowadays, but you are making a very successful solo career. Would you ever work with your twin again? I'm certain some of our audience is are very interested in a collaboration between the two of you again."
[Laughs as he reminisces] Lucky, you! They kept saying that to me everywhere I go. Good question! If it's a will, then it's a right. Right now we're unsure about things because y'know, family politics can get a little muddy in some areas. But if we happen to get the roles, then sure, I will work with her again.
"If you weren't to work with your sister, then, are there any actors in Hollywood you would want to work with? Who, and what kind of project?"
Oh yeah definitely. Ahh gosh. There are so many talented folks out there… Francis, Ivan--ah. Welp, I hear Alfred Jones a great director. Vash Zigiwiggle is a fine guy--yes I do pronounce his surname that way. It just brings the chipper to his face, whenever he, y'know, doesn't look like this on his bad days. [makes a very Vash-esque expression.]
He's a fine man, a fine person. I look forward to working with him. And well haha, I've seen some of Miss Nicoleta's work back when I was in Europe. She's--[gulps and abashedly rubs his forehead] Hm. She was a celebrity crush of mine. I hear she's here in the States, so I can have some time to straighten up my act to be a tad less goof and a tad more suave. [Chortles]
"It looks like we'll have to wrap up in a bit, unfortunately. When you walk out of this studio, what is the first thing you'll do?"
I dunno really. Riverdance out while holding a potato in each hand. [Grins] A jab, don't kill me please.
"Good luck with that! Don't do anything too illegal! It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mister O'Neill-Kirkland. That's all for The Asu Show! We hope you've enjoyed being on the show, and do give us a shout-out to us when you can. Until next time, ciao~"
The Asu Show
You really have the impression that this is a prestigious show. How the heck did you get on this show anyways?! Because damn does your agent have connections... You're sitting in your chair, all comfortable, in formal clothes, and you're wondering when your host will arrive. And then, you here some music...
The upbeat intro of "Get Lucky" plays as a little lady badassly... waddles in and takes a seat. She is clad in a blazer and a little black pencil skirt, reminding you of a certain chancellor. She doesn't look too old, but she gives you the impression of an old soul. "Welcome to "The Asu Show"! Tune in for your daily dose of typos! Your interview may be a bit butchered, but man it'll be the wurst!" She sits down... and appears a little small for the chair. It looks like her feet don't touch the ground.
"Why hello there, Mister O'Neill-Kirkland. I'd like to welcome you to my show. It's very nice to MEAT you today. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"
Hello! A pleasure to be here, thanks--yes, nice to meet you as well! [Because meat and meet sound exactly alike so he can't tell the difference when it is spoken fff]
Th'names Donald. Donald Finnegan O'Neill Kirkland, born in Dublin a ways 'cross th'pond--is how they call it. I embarrass myself on a daily basis and somehow I make a living out of it, see? Since I'm Irish, I like meat and potatoes. I think that's sums up the entirety of m'life. [chuckles]
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mister O'Neill-Kirkland. I relish the fact that you've mustard the courage to ketchup to us about yourself. You are a fascinating new face. Don't think of it as too direct, but in this business, you'll probably be asked this often enough anyways, especially with how attractive you are. Tell me, darling... are you a duck in bed?"
Ye say what? [He laughs and looks very confused, prompting the audience to laugh. Looking back at the interviewer, he shakes his head, even though he looks amused.] Is this some serta new American buzzword that I'm missing out on? Don't tell me it's on th'same level as 'swag' [he does this hand motion as if he's DJing]. Okay I've got no idea but I'll just say yes for the helluvit.
"Now personally, I can't say I'm the best in bed, but I wish you the best luck there. I'm certain you'll bloom into a beautiful peacock one day! I see you're from Northern Ireland. I can hear it in your marvelous voice. Tell me how you're taking in the lovely Hollywood Hills. Shocking much?"
I've got me stone for luck. And if that luck can get me to a peacock--sure? [He's so confused but he's taking this gracefully at least??] Oh I lived in Belfast for a while, yes. But I've been living in America for much longer, in fact. I've mastered Freedom Lover's accent, but I am loyal te the Queen and her corgis. So when I lived in Belfast for a while and I came back, I was surprised by how much the Californians... erm, evolved. [Looks at the audience suspiciously] Women were becoming orange...? At first I thought it was some carrot-overdose 'cause ye know it can turn yer skin all orangey because of the carotene or some sort. But um. I derno. Orange skin. Only in America, folks.
[Audience laughter]
"Fascinating. How fascinating. Positively shocking, isn't it? Quite different way to look at things, I suppose. You ever go travelling? You ever get homesick? What's one thing you miss from home?"
I travel all around the UK and in other parts of the world, but I always miss the salted air of the harbors in Belfast. I'm always attracted to the coast and I go where th'water is. So yeah, I ought to say that Belfast is the one place I plan on living after I finish my business here in the 'States.
"I see, I see... Well, darling, I did some research on you. I basically stalked your Facebook and phoned the NSA!" You better fear if she really does have NSA connections, goodness."Chef, come in!" A chef comes in with Bailey's Marble Cheesecake... Wow! You haven't seen this in a while, now have you?! "Why don't you have some sweetness?" The chef puts down the two plates upon the table. You go and take your dessert, and your host does the same. Using a tiny, silver fork, your host takes a bite out of the heavenly ambrosia. "Mmm mmm... MMM. You have good taste! Did your grandma ever make something like this? This is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Say, do you have any siblings or cousins in Hollywood that we should be aware of? Perhaps if you aren't available, our viewers would still like a piece, hmmm?"
Oh mercy, it's carrot cake. Thank ye. [Takes a forkful] My grandma actually taught my mum on making this cake. Good times. The best moments were with this cake, 'specially that time it was flung at me face--yes, well ye might be aware of my twin. She happens to look exactly like me. Isn't that frightening?
"Well won't we be quite interested! What're their numbers?"
Sorry but she's outta commission. [laughs weakly] She must be busy, but it is hard to miss her. Her hair's red, for Christ sake, the most ginger of all gingers here in America.
"Speaking of which, are you taken? I'm sure our audience is very interested! Any special man/lady in your life at the moment?"
Not at the moment---
"You're single and ready to mingle, eh? That's nice to know."
Look at you, earning some giggles from the audience. You charmer.
Ah, I've always been told that I'm too much of a goof to attract a lady. Just my luck, huh?
"But anyways, enough about your life in the bedroom (or lack of it), we're just curious to know... what are your goals here in Hollywood? Any image or angle you going after in terms of roles/in general?"
Hmm see, I used to act quite a lot. Though I've been so busy just saying jib jab on American idol and annoying people at the station that I haven't had the time, see. But most definitely thinking about doing more acting. I was never as into it as my sister, but I'm willing to give it another shot here in the States.
"It's quite obvious that you are a very established actor. In fact, some of our audience remember you from your hit show in Britain, 'Lucky You'. I even know some friends who were obsessed with 'Donald Finn and Aoife'. It seems that you aren't really working with your sister nowadays, but you are making a very successful solo career. Would you ever work with your twin again? I'm certain some of our audience is are very interested in a collaboration between the two of you again."
[Laughs as he reminisces] Lucky, you! They kept saying that to me everywhere I go. Good question! If it's a will, then it's a right. Right now we're unsure about things because y'know, family politics can get a little muddy in some areas. But if we happen to get the roles, then sure, I will work with her again.
"If you weren't to work with your sister, then, are there any actors in Hollywood you would want to work with? Who, and what kind of project?"
Oh yeah definitely. Ahh gosh. There are so many talented folks out there… Francis, Ivan--ah. Welp, I hear Alfred Jones a great director. Vash Zigiwiggle is a fine guy--yes I do pronounce his surname that way. It just brings the chipper to his face, whenever he, y'know, doesn't look like this on his bad days. [makes a very Vash-esque expression.]
He's a fine man, a fine person. I look forward to working with him. And well haha, I've seen some of Miss Nicoleta's work back when I was in Europe. She's--[gulps and abashedly rubs his forehead] Hm. She was a celebrity crush of mine. I hear she's here in the States, so I can have some time to straighten up my act to be a tad less goof and a tad more suave. [Chortles]
"It looks like we'll have to wrap up in a bit, unfortunately. When you walk out of this studio, what is the first thing you'll do?"
I dunno really. Riverdance out while holding a potato in each hand. [Grins] A jab, don't kill me please.
"Good luck with that! Don't do anything too illegal! It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mister O'Neill-Kirkland. That's all for The Asu Show! We hope you've enjoyed being on the show, and do give us a shout-out to us when you can. Until next time, ciao~"